Kai's 4th Birthday

Kai is four. Can you believe it? It seems my life can be divided into two stages: before Kai and after Kai.

Kai has changed my life in so many incredible ways. I remember right before giving birth to Kai, after my water broke, pausing and feeling like I was stepping off a cliff that I had waited to be at for so long and I was so glad somebody had finally pushed me.

I knew my life would change but I really couldn't imagine how. Sure, I knew I wouldn't sleep (I just couldn't guess he would never sleep though!). I knew I would love him with my whole being. I knew he would grow up supported and loved. I knew there would be so much more though that I didn't dare to even try to guess at. I knew by birthing Kai, I was giving birth to myself as a mama.

Becoming a mom has made me such a better person. I realize I do have a well of patience. I often surprise myself with how calm I can remain. I have a mama bear sense of protection. The first time I was put in the position to feel this it was powerful. It felt like a surge (and now has turned into a funny story of how I threatened our neighbors who were dealing drugs. Ok, that doesn't sound funny in the least. But, it was and now they aren't dealing drugs so it's a happy ending, I promise). I realize my Nonny's advice was correct: sometimes you just have to go to bed and try better in the morning. I ask for help better. I accept people more for who they are and not for who I wish they could be. I make amends with little ones and bigger people. I know there is power in saying "I'm sorry and I will try better next time." I follow my gut. I trust in the process and know that one bad day or one bad week or one bad month doesn't inform who my children will be in the future or who I am as a mom. I have learned to laugh more. I prioritize snuggling over cleaning. I turn on the radio and dance like a crazy lady on fire. I say the serenity prayer a lot. I sit back and am in awe of this precious little tiger who grows smarter each and every day.

So, Kai, my big 4 year old, you have been my wise teacher. Your compassion, optimism, and intuitive spirit are remarkable. Your ability to easily forgive and to love so enthusiastically is appreciated. Your energy, quirks, and silliness are honored. I love you.

Happy 4th Birthday to you!

We had a superhero theme party. Every guest made capes to bring home. We got the idea from the Living Locurto website. Thanks for the inspiration!

We played a lot of games (Kai's only wish at his party). Instead of "Duck, Duck, Grey Duck" we played, "Bad Guy, Bad Guy, Superhero." We had a parachute that we played "Superhero, Superhero Go So Fast" (instead of the water game, "Motor Boat, Motor Boat, Go So Slow"). My favorite though was playing the Batman Theme Song and then stopping the song and having all of the dancers FREEZE. And, then as you can tell, the pinata was a bit hit. Yes, Kai is wearing his underwear over his long underwear in the above photo. It was his idea for his superhero costume. And, last but not least, we made up an obstacle course where everyone's superhero senses were tested. See, it really was fun.

Look at this face! A friend asked me how I felt about presents and the materialism of them. I offer this photo as answer and an example of why presents can be good: Surprise and gratitude are two wonderful things for a 4 year old to experience. [on a separate note, this photo answers my very important question of whether or not I should get a hair cut. Yes!]

Ruby had her own cape too! In a feat of superhero strength, she didn't even pull it off.

Summer vs. Winter

Today I am dreaming about this:

But, enjoying this:

P.S.

I was thinking this morning about my posting from yesterday. Here is what I was thinking: Kai has never seen the Star Wars movies or any TV shows about SpiderMan, BatMan, or Green Goblin. BUT, yet, he is obsessed with them. Hmm...it's so fascinating to me.

We walk into the library and Kai runs to our librarian and asks her to help him find books about Star Wars, Buzz Lightyear, or SpiderMan. Up to this point, Joe and I have limited Kai's screen time, but what about books? I was looking through one of his Star Wars books and man, it was full of bad guys, weapons, and freaky looking characters. Is this appropriate for 4 year olds? Do I tell him I am going to screen the books now? I certainly don't want to.

When I ask Kai how he knows about all of these guys, he says that friends talk about it at school. I love that it is fueling imaginative play, but I really didn't think I would have a boy who loves good guys vs. bad guys play or who pretends everything is a sword or knife or gun. I was hoping for more Little House on the Prairie play and less knights with swords who kill and bury people.

I feel like it's all confusing. You limit one media but it seeps out in another. If I limited all media, I bet you $100 that he would still be cutting out swords from cardboard and battling the plants.

On a different note, Kai has been bringing up some very interesting topics. For the past week, he has been trying to tell me about the place where he was before he was born. He said it's with God and it's where you hang out before you get a new life. He said in his past life Bosu (his imaginary friend) was his brother and he was sad because he didn't have Joe as his Dad. He said that he knows he will go back to this place and hang out with God eventually and he hopes we will be there at the same time.

Hmmm......interesting for sure. I'm always left thinking through some interesting things at the end of the night. Never a dull moment here.

Kai's Favorite Things

I interviewed Kai tonight to give you a glimpse into the life of our big 4 year old:

Favorite Food: Marshmallows and Pizza

Favorite Color: All of them, why do I have to choose?

Favorite Thing to Do: Pretend to be a superhero, learn about Star Wars, Wrestle, and Karate

Favorite Animal: Green Goblin

Favorite Person: Owen who is my real brother (editor's note: Owen is a 6 year old in his classroom at school who he adores)

Favorite Other Brother (Kai added this category): Marius who is also my boyfriend (editor's note: Marius is also in Kai's classroom and these two boys are two peas in a pod)

Favorite Book: Star Wars and Little House on the Prairie

Favorite Superhero (Another category he added): Buzz Lightyear who isn't really a superhero but should be

Favorite Bad Guy (Wasn't on my initial list): Green Goblin because he is green and that's cool

Favorite Place: Castle Fort (in the photo above- such a wonderful birthday gift from my mom)

Favorite Mom (yep, my idea since I was hoping for the favorite person nomination):

[big smile] You, of course! And, I love Ruby June too!

Barbecups

I often think of my mom when I'm making dinner: 1. She never complained about making dinner 2. She always went all out- pot roast and roasted veggies, french dip sandwiches, fish on the grill, chicken prepared hundreds of ways, spaghetti and meatballs (with the secret ingredient of shaved chocolate)- you name it, we had it! 3. It would be weeks before her recipes repeated again 4. She tricked us into thinking veggies were what every child across the nation were getting for dessert!

My brother and I loved my mom's "Barbecups." It was a favorite that we requested on a weekly basis. One night, a couple of years ago, I called my mom and said I was already tired of making dinners. She just laughed and said I had over 18 years to go! Ugh. I realized then that I better stop complaining and start getting more creative so these next 18 years don't seem like punishment. So, I asked her for some of her goodies but oldies. Here is one of the recipes she gave me:

So, we have made them now over and over again and we love them! Kai especially will chow down on at least 3 "barbecups" and especially enjoys cooking them. So, if you are looking for some inspiration, try them and see what you think. I have tricked Kai a bit into thinking they are "barbeque pizzas." Anything with the name pizza is an instant hit in this household. Enjoy!

P.S. We substitute ground turkey for ground beef. We leave out the onions (by the way, check out the recipe: what are instant minced onions?). And, we use the regular pillsbury bread-in-a-can biscuits (not sure if there still is "tenderflakes"?)

Standing

All this girl wants to do is stand!

Yum

Ruby not only is feeding herself (albeit it's pretty messy) but she also doesn't want anything to be cut up. It's proving to a be a bit challenging. Yesterday, she stole Kai's turkey sandwich and went to town. She has become a bit of a food thief. Today, she took a whole orange out of my hand and sucked all of the juice out of it and grabbed some pesto pasta from my plate and stuffed it into her mouth before I could grab it away. She only has two teeth but they are sharp little nuggets.

Family Photographer

From the eyes of a 4 year old with a camera.....I think it captures some of the fun of the dinner party at our house a couple of weeks ago.

2011

(nice burnt marshmellow, huh? No, Ruby didn't eat it)

(Maddie and RJ)

So, you know what happens when your 2 kids have been sick on and off for 3 weeks? You get behind on your blog. Sorry for the delay of some good photos and stories.

Here are some from our New Year's Eve celebration. I think I've celebrated at least 10 (probably more) New Year Eve nights with Ally and I think this one tops the list. We went to a nature preserve and went on a candle-lit hike with the kiddos. S'mores were the prize for finishing. It was a nice, mellow way to start out what I hope will be a nice, mellow (not so far, but there is time...) year.

Cleaning

I have an odd relationship with cleaning.

First, if the world around me is falling a part, you most likely will find me sweeping my floors or putting toys away. I remember over 13 years ago, Joe and I were both moving away from Seattle and we didn't know which direction our relationship was going to go. My roommates both woke at 2 am to find me scrubbing the floor.

If the world is really changing, you'll find me getting rid of clutter and going through my clothes and making 'give-away' piles. In fact, both times when I was pregnant, "nesting" became an obsession. When I was 7 months pregnant with Ruby, my neighbor called to ask if we were moving since I had put 21 bags on the curb to donate for The Epilepsy Foundation. Just last week, I was looking for a purse, instead of a diaper bag, and I couldn't find one since I had given them all away.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to not pick up one single item for the entire day. When Joe came home, I have never seen him so surprised. This was my equivalent of a mini-mid-life crisis. It also brought to light for me just how much work I do everyday that I didn't even realize. Even though Kai does a great job of picking up, I obviously do a lot more. Joe had to wade through clothes, toys, dishes, mail, boots, and art materials to find us. I told him I was tired of being a housewife.

But, most days, I grumble only a little bit and do the much-needed household tasks. Before I go to sleep, I have things pretty organized for the next day. If I don't, 8:15 am comes around a little too quickly and Kai picks up on the craziness of the day and his drop-off to school goes bad, Ruby isn't wearing her gloves (since we couldn't find them) and I miss time playing peek-a-boo because I am busy washing the dishes. I am happy to say I don't scrub floors anymore at 2 am and my high standards have dropped down pretty low which is more than Ok. My mom is so generous with her time and energy and she cleans while the kids nap when she watches them two days a week. The other month I asked if she would scrub the tub for me. When I returned from work she said she was so surprised by how dirty our tub gets in a week. I realized after questioning her more that she thought I actually washed the tub every week! I'm embarrassed to admit how long it had been...

Anyway, back to the reason I posted: My dad has a little obsession with floors that I think I've picked up on which has now been passed on to Kai. As you can see, Kai loves to vacuum and now Ruby loves to watch. It probably helps that I turn up the music when it is clean-up time. Now that I think about it, maybe the love of dance parties is in his genes too.

Poop

My babies are sick.

Ugh.

It. Sucks.

A lot.

Ruby has been sick with a fever and now with a bad cough. Kai is in the middle of a pooping strike (he has Encropesis) and he has been home all week from school as we try to flush out his system.

I feel bad for Ruby because she hasn't had a fever or a bad cough before, but I know she will be better in a few days. Let's face it, this is the way her immune system will be mighty strong one. She is going to be just fine.

With Kai, it's so much harder. First, poop has become such a huge issue around here. I'm tired of talking about poop, wiping poop, wishing for poop, and praising poop. I wish we didn't even have to poop.

You probably wish you weren't reading about poop.

So, you should stop now. Since I'm going to write more about it....

I talk frequently to our pediatrician and we have had tests and x-rays. Plus, our lovely cranio-sacral therapist is trying to work her magic on Kai and his bowels. We have seen a gastro-intestinal specialist, a child therapist, and a chiropractor. We really, really want to stop talking about poop.

But, it continues and I know the one thing that helps is for me to let go of any expectations (of poop and Kai) and just remain neutral in our poop-land. I repeat to myself throughout the day, "I am Switzerland " and "When Kai graduates from high school, I will hardly even remember this struggle." I am learning more about encropresis and know that this isn't a behavioral issue, but rather a real physical issue (the large intestine becomes stretched when costipated and well...I could go on and on, but are you really interested?). We are in the process of helping Kai and his body re-learn healthy poop routines. After Ruby was born, it was terrible. We had a very hard poopy summer. But, then this Fall, things got better. Now, we are back to poopalooza. It's going to get better again. Right? Promise me.

But, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor. I leave you with a giggle:

On the way to our appointment today with our cranio-sacral therapist (named Maria), Kai announced:

"MOM-- GUESS WHAT? Maria and diarrhea rhyme. How cool is that?"

Yes, we even have our own poop humor. I laughed so hard I was snorting.

P.S. Please forgive me Kai if you are reading this when you are older and wonder why your Mom had to post this on her blog. I consider this blog to be like your baby book and I also want it to be the real account of our crazy life, not just a fluffy one. I assure you that no one even remembers this anymore :)

Kai's Personal Weather Forecast

Check out who is the star of this forecast - all for the soon-to-be birthday boy!

Skip ahead to 2 minutes 10 seconds- (and thanks Tricia for the cute photo!)